“Resilience and balance go together like peanut butter and jelly!"
This came out of my mouth (unplanned) as I was facilitating a resilience workshop with a leadership team.
I had never made that analogy before, yet it is such a perfect, simple way to think about it.
I see resilience as your flexible ability to deal with the negative experiences you face.
Both the big, tough setbacks that happen in your life AND the small daily stressors.
Well, guess what?
It is WAY harder to navigate the setbacks and daily stressors when your tank is empty.
And when you are balanced, your tank is definitely NOT empty.
To be more resilient, you’re going to need to take better care of yourself and what matters to you.
To be more balanced, you’re going to need to get way better at navigating the ups and downs.
Especially those small, everyday stressors!
Resilience and balance – like peanut butter and jelly – just go better together (and overlap).
So, what does this look...
"I can’t do this anymore".
"Work is awful".
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
I hear comments like these in coaching sessions with leaders and professionals at ALL levels.
I get it. I said the same things back when I was working 60-80 hour weeks.
It took me a long time to figure out that I HAD A CHOICE.
YOU HAVE A CHOICE too.
Here’s why it’s time to step into this empowering mindset . . .
Comments like these are often the result of being short on team resources and facing high expectations from your company.
The constant pressure to keep up with all the demands with too little support.
The expectation to do (way) more with less.
And if you’re a caring leader who doesn't want to overburden your team – you end up taking on way too much yourself.
Which leaves you feeling exhausted, spread thin and sacrificing your personal time and mental health to keep up with it all.
THIS ISN'T NEW.
I remember early in my corporate career, sitting...
On a recent family trip to Toronto, we decided to only pack carry-on luggage.
It would be quicker to go through the lines at the airport and eliminate time waiting at the baggage claim. Plus, we’d have less to tote around the city as we hopped from trains to hotels.
Not to mention that we would also be in control of our luggage (which sounded very appealing after hearing so many stories of lost baggage at airports lately)!
It also meant a bit of extra thinking and planning about what to pack.
As I was packing, I started thinking about how taking a carry-on on a trip is a lot like prioritizing your work week.
Most people’s work weeks are an overstuffed 50-lb suitcase. Maybe even two suitcases!
The traditional thinking is that, in order to keep up with all the demands, you have to work harder and do more (and more).
But this often leads to being overloaded and exhausted, which hurts your performance, mental health and relationships.
You might feel like you don't have...
"I just want to stop thinking about work all the time!"
I remember having this thought a few years ago while watching my kids’ swimming lessons, stressing about a big work presentation on Monday and wishing I could JUST BE PRESENT.
Only once I started practicing mindfulness a couple of years later did I realize just how NOT present I had been most of the time, both at work and at home.
I thought it was just the reality of being in a demanding position and busy life.
But the truth is that a lack of presence is not about how busy you are. Presence is a choice and comes with intention (and practice!)
Being present in the moment can seem like a challenge in today's fast-paced world, however, taking a step back to focus, be mindful of your thoughts and emotions, and let go of worries about the past or future make all the difference.
"One of the simplest ways to stay balanced is to stay present in the moment." - Unknown
Because the present moment is where we truly live.
So the real...
One of the most powerful ways to create change is to look back at the situations in your life – what's working, what's not working, the good and the hard moments – and see what the lessons are for you.
This is something I do each day for the little lessons and, as I head into each New Year, I look for those bigger, important insights that can help shape how I move forward.
This past year (really the past 18-months) has had more ups and downs in my life. I am learning to accept, let go, trust my intuition, focus on what matters, find the joy and be grateful every single day – no matter how it goes – at a whole new level.
Living with this intention makes all the difference in showing up in your life in a way that’s aligned with your values and who you want to be – even with the messiness.
I’m hoping that sharing these lessons will help you to be more of your best self and live with more happiness, balance and focus on what matters, as...
Happy New Year!
One thing I have learned is that it's important to do what feels right for me -- and for you to do what feels right for you.
Especially this time of year. With all the conflicting advice out there about resolutions and goal-setting or what to focus on, it's easy to get overwhelmed.
The value of any advice depends on where you're at in your life and what feels right for you.
(I recognize the irony that I'm giving you more advice – my point is if it feels right for you, pay attention, and if not, don’t force it).
For me, the start of a new year is a time for fresh starts and renewed energy, while reflecting on the lessons.
Here’s something I have noticed about myself: setting goals feels like pressure.
I often don’t hit my ambitious goals in the timing I set, or I fall into the trap of tying my happiness and self-worth to hitting a goal.
So, while goals are helpful for guiding our choices and direction, it's even more helpful to focus on who we...
Are you doing the basic things that set you up for success?
I recently shared how to navigate work and kids with more ease and presence. Ironically, a couple of days this week have felt NOTHING like ease!
We are coming off a four-day trip with the kids to Toronto for a Raptors game. It was a fun weekend getaway, action-packed, and went smooth for the most part. It was also late nights, early mornings, and a delayed flight home that got in after midnight.
And with Christmas break right around the corner, we decided to do school and work the same as usual Monday morning. But things have been anything but smooth since then and I have not been getting the small everyday moments right.
By “right”, I mean aligned with my values and how I want to show up in my life.
We were all grumpy, running behind and arguing about silly things. When a friend asked me Monday night at the school Christmas concert how our week was going, all I could say was “not good” – with my...
Struggling to juggle the demands of work and kids? Are your kids sick at home more than usual these days? Feel constantly torn between excelling in your work and being there for your family?
You're not alone!
In this video, I keep it real with my own challenges, sharing why it's so darn stressful to juggle work and kids, and how to navigate it with more ease and presence.
1. Expect that it will be messy - this is normal
2. Stop trying to do it all and instead get closer to the "bullseye" (I explain what I mean)
3. Know what really matters -- at work, with your family, and in your life -- to guide your daily choices (sometimes can be minute-by-minute choices)
4. Give yourself permission to say 'no' to what matters less
5. Keep boundaries between your work and personal time -- you still need to take care of yourself
6. Be present where you are
7. Let go of the guilt AND also pay attention to what the guilt is telling you
8. Be intentional in how you are showing up
9. Get the...
I used to think it was the career, the house and the vacations that made life bigger and better. And they do on a level – more experience, joy and meaning.
But what I’ve learned is that getting the small, everyday moments right is what really makes life bigger and better.
When your kid comes in the room to show you their new favorite TikTok and you stop everything to listen and be present with them.
When a team member comes to you with a concern and show you genuinely care, taking the time to listen and help.
When you’re feeling tired and give yourself permission to take it easy, saying no to something you don’t want to do.
When you listen to that inner nudge that tells you to speak up, trusting your intuition more.
When you hold the door open for someone at the grocery store and do something kind.
When you’re out walking your dog and notice the beauty of nature around you.
When you're feeling frustrated with your kids and you take a deep breath before...
Have you had that moment when you're determined to finally put a boundary in place with your time?
You decide you are going to end work by 5 pm. Or put some buffer time in between meetings. Or add a time block to focus on getting your own work done during the work day.
And THEN the worries creep in!
What will people think? Am I letting my team down by not being there for them when they need me? What if people think I’m being selfish?
We let our fear about what others think become a reason to not follow through, but the truth is that people will judge you no matter what you do.
They might think you’re being selfish or not a team player. They might get upset by you protecting your time. They might also judge you for not speaking up about what you need.
What other people think and do is outside of your control.
What is within your control is your ability to communicate your needs in a way that keeps the relationship strong or at least delivered in a way you can feel good...
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