My kids have their own style, especially my teenager Carter. There was a period when he was younger where he wore shorts every day for FOUR years!
He didn’t even own a pair of pants during this time (other than ski pants of course with our cold Canadian winters).
Sometimes, when we would get invited for a family photo shoot for a wedding or other occasion, I would hear "Can you dress your kids better?"
My typical response was "no" because we let our kids make these decisions and choose their own sense of style.
Sure, I would at least encourage them to pick something not stained or ripped, but I wouldn’t force them to dress a certain way to please people.
One time, I received a frustrated text response from a family member saying that this is just an example showing that I don't care about other people . . .
And only think about myself. Because I wasn't willing to make the kids dress up for a photo shoot.
Carter happened to see the text and told me . . .
"Mom, you do care...
Do you find that one minute you can feel on top of everything and then all of a sudden you feel overwhelmed with the high expectations you put on yourself?
Do you want to slow down the pace when you are feeling that way but you also know you need to get things done?
It can be tricky sometimes to know when you have too much on your plate and you need to prioritize better (saying no to what matters less) . . .
OR . . .
If you’re letting the distraction and overwhelm take over unnecessarily, and you just need to focus or take a breather to reset.
I still sometimes walk that fine line of wondering if I have too much on the go (prioritize better) or I am just letting the pressure I put on myself get to me (more about focus and mindset).
Like this week, when Monday threw me for a loop.
My top three work priorities came to a head at once, with important deadlines and unexpected issues with the quality of some deliverables I had delegated.
Usually I can step out of the overwhelm (I...
How has your week been?
My past week has been a mix of work and leisure time with the kids out of school for Winter break, but also an unexpected stomach flu that took us all out for a couple of days.
When unexpected things happen in your week or you have too much on your plate, how you prioritize and mentally navigate your day makes all the difference between you feeling super stressed or calm and present.
And showing up as the leader, parent or person you want to be.
Are you feeling like there aren't enough hours (and mental energy) in the day and you're struggling to get everything done that you said you would do?
Do you push yourself harder to get it all done or avoid it altogether because you're feeling so overwhelmed?
Or perhaps you feel on top of things for the most part, but you also feel bad about all the other things you think you should or could be doing.
When you're in this place, doing more is NOT the answer.
It's the time to slow down, do less and...
Today, I want to talk to you about learning to trust yourself.
Earlier in February, I had the honor of attending and speaking at a personal development event in Saskatoon called Reconnect.
The topic I spoke on was different than my usual speaking and workshops in companies on balance, focus and resilience as leaders.
At Reconnect, I talked about my own journey in learning to follow my intuition for the big moves in my life, such as . . .
As well as the specific progress I made to write a book the past few months called . . . Your Balanced (and Bold) Life: Work Less, Live More and Be Your Best.
While learning to navigate ALL of the fears, doubts and naysayers!
When you learn to trust your intuition more, you'll discover it's the wisest adviser you'll ever have...
As I support many of my clients in creating stronger boundaries to protect their time and energy, I am reminded of just how far I've come myself in this area.
A few years ago, I used to work most evenings and weekends. I rarely said no (and was scared to do it).
I constantly worried about what people would think of me if I didn't "get it all done". And, when I wasn't working, I was thinking about it.
Keeping up with it all left me with little energy and presence for my family or personal time at the end of the day.
I told everyone I was "fine" (my old and unhelpful favorite saying) but on the inside, I felt like I was barely keeping it together.
And, at the time, I didn’t understand the impact and I certainly didn’t realize I had a choice.
My tendency to overwork, lack of presence, and regular grumpiness at home because I was so exhausted was hurting my relationship with my husband and kids . . .
And my performance (although I didn't realize it at the time).
It got to a...
What would change if you felt more in control of your workload and days?
A few years ago, when I felt overwhelmed with everything to do, I would double down on my efforts and hard work.
I would put in longer hours, push through the overwhelm, and tell myself that when I got all caught up THEN I would slow down and give myself a break.
But this approach was a VERY stressful way to live. And not very productive after all!
How about you? How do you typically respond when you’re feeling overwhelmed with everything to do?
The most common answers I hear are:
In January, I had the pleasure of hosting a day for my Balanced Leader clients, past and present, at Regina's Mackenzie Art Gallery (with remote attendees as well). It's hard to put into words what the experience meant to me. It was so meaningful to witness and hear everyone's insights, and see how they encourage each other. I am so grateful for the day and to have connected with them all!
Here are a few things on my mind from that day that may serve you . . .
Rethink connection: It was very special to meet in-person. At the same time, I believe you can connect with someone deeply without having been in the same room as them. I forgot a few of these ladies I had never met in person before that day because we have such a strong relationship. If you think physical presence is the only way to truly connect, I invite you to reconsider.
Figure out what works for you: Everyone's idea of balance – your values, boundaries, priorities and what you need to feel and be your best, what to...
Do you ever notice that voice in your head that's constantly critiquing and doubting yourself?
The one that points out everything that’s wrong with you, focuses on every mistake, and says that you’re not good enough. The one that constantly worries about what people think of you.
The one that thinks that you can’t slow down or take a break because you will fall way too behind.
As a result, you are constantly overthinking, doubting and being hard on yourself. And when that inner critic gets loud, you end up too overwhelmed to take action on what really matters.
Sound familiar?
Too many people let their inner critic lead the way, especially women.
The thing is, anytime you're doing something new or stepping out of your comfort zone, you will likely second-guess yourself and imposter syndrome will seep in.
There's nothing wrong with you! This is normal.
When you can quiet that voice – and make your choices in deeper alignment with your...
Family has been one of my core values, which has evolved over time to mean that I am fully present with the people I care about the most.
It's the one thing – the most important thing – that if I am giving the right attention, time and my best self to my husband and kids, everything else in life feels easier to navigate.
And when I am not living my value of family and being present, life feels a whole lot harder.
At the same time, perhaps like you, I am driven and ambitious, and I valued achievement in my career.
For a long time, these values of family and achievement were in conflict, with the career focus being more intense, important and time-consuming.
Family was my MOST important value, yet my actions showed otherwise.
I used to work most evenings and weekends. And I had little energy and presence for my family at the end of a work day.
I’d rush through home “duties” and once the kids were in bed, I’d...
Happy New Year!
One thing I have learned over the years is that it's important to do what feels right for me -- and for you to do what feels right for you.
Especially this time of year. With conflicting advice out there about resolutions and goal-setting or what to focus on, it's easy to get overwhelmed.
Or caught up in declaring New Year's resolutions without really taking the time to figure out what you really want.
The value of any advice or goal depends on where you're at in your life and what feels right for you. Not what you think you SHOULD be doing.
(I recognize the irony that I'm giving you more advice – my point is if it feels right for you, pay attention, and if not, don’t force it).
For me, the start of a new year is a time for fresh starts and renewed energy, while reflecting on the lessons.
But here’s something I have noticed about myself: setting goals for the year feels like pressure.
I often don’t hit my ambitious goals in the timing I...