Confidence is a big word with a lot of meaning.
We all want to feel more confident. Whether it’s in that upcoming work presentation or hoping that we are raising our kids to make smart choices.
And, if you ask 10 different people (even experts) how to be more confident, you’ll likely get ten different answers!
So let’s start with the definition of confidence:
The takeaway? Confidence is a feeling and a belief.
If you’ve followed me for a while, you know that YOU have a choice over your beliefs, thoughts and actions. And our thoughts and beliefs influence how we feel.
This means that YOU 100% have control over your level of confidence.
We can definitely gain confidence by becoming more competent and skilled in a given area –...
I read a post on Facebook a few months ago about a mom who paid her teenage son to read personal development books and write a report afterward. It stuck with me as an interesting idea!
Carter, my 12-year old, has been wanting to earn a little extra cash, so I offered him $20 to read any book off my bookshelf. Of course, he chose the skinniest one! It was a great little book called The Seven Secrets Of A Stress Free Life by Randal Johnson, who I met a few years ago at an event.
The deal was for Carter to read the book and provide me with his key takeaways – he got to decide what and how he wrote out his thoughts. He likes to read comics and Diary of a Wimpy Kid-style books, so I wasn’t sure if he would be game for the idea but he dove right in and read the book quickly (his only complaint after was there was just one picture in it!).
He left what he wrote out for me one morning, along with a note: “I finished it and hope you like it .”
Last year, I worked with a Director from Microsoft who was feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
"Sarah" is mission-driven, wanted to create an impact in her work and world, and is a high achiever.
When we started to work together, she was also feeling "scattered, disorganized, unfocused, tired, not enough time for value-add work" and so on.
You likely feel this way too with a lot on your plate. Things are busy at work. And at home. You push yourself, have high standards and feel like you have something to prove.
Somehow, you’re juggling all the balls (but silently worrying you’ll drop one).
Sarah wanted to protect her time more to create breathing space and focus on projects where she felt she added the most value, instead of fighting fires or in meetings all day.
For four weeks, she made one small change in her day that had a huge impact.
From this one change, Sarah shared . . .
"My stress level is lower, I am more productive, confident, have more...
Feeling like your weeks are a bit of a rollercoaster?
One day you are crushing it and feeling high energy, and the next day it seems like nothing is going right and you're wondering how you'll make it through the day?
You aren't alone. Especially now when our days are often turned upside down and people are already feeling on edge.
This has been my week. I had a couple of days of being super productive and feeling good, and then the last couple of days, it all went sideways.
I barely got done what I wanted on my to-do list, a project I was excited about fell through, and I had little energy left for in the evening. There were some tears and procrastination!
But what is different now than it would have been a few years ago, is that it's just a bad hour or two. The highs and lows are more like blips that don’t throw me too off-course.
That's what building your resilience does for you. You are less fazed by the daily stressors and, when you do face a setback, you can bounce back...
Your days might be filled with back-to-back meetings, a mile-long to-do list and trying to lead your team through a challenging time, pushing long hours and feeling like you’re on a path to burning out.
You might be struggling to juggle all the different roles in your life – parent, spouse, leader, friend and more – and how to be there for others when you’re feeling tired and overwhelmed inside.
You want to slow down, feel more joy each day and be more present in your life. But you’re just not sure how to make that happen with everything going on and everyone else’s expectations.
And, deep down, you feel like you’ve lost a bit of who you are. I know, I've been there.
People often say they leave a job or make a big change in their life because the pace was too much or their manager was impossible to work with or they didn’t feel valued – all external circumstances.
For me, it was when I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize...
As we near the holiday season, so many people are feeling tapped out, exhausted and in need of a real break.
It’s been months of performing “business as usual” in a freakin’ pandemic – nothing is business as usual here!
Be it working from home with boundaries blurred, putting in longer hours to fit it all in, or just trying to find five minutes to pee with back-to-back online meetings.
Supporting your team’s different struggles and needs, and figuring out how to stay connected virtually when everyone is feeling a little Zoomed out.
Or really being there for your kids and online school, having to learn math again and not just squeeze them into your already busy day because they matter too.
This can create a feeling of a constant guilt and worry as you try to juggle it all.
Guilt from feeling like you’re not doing enough. Guilt from wanting to simply rest and disconnect over the holidays. Or even guilt with your family because so much is...
Where do you need to cut yourself some slack?
I’m coming off a couple of weeks with the kids’ school closed, juggling that in a busy time of year with clients . . . and at the very same time feeling the urge to simply do nothing!
I am reminded of the unnecessary pressure we put on ourselves, especially right now.
I took things off my plate in the mornings to make room in my day to help my 10-year old who needs more help with school.
I focused on what was essential, which for me was being present with my coaching clients and workshops I was hosting (and let go of the rest - for the most part).
I kept strong boundaries and did not work evenings because I know when I am run down and don’t take time to recharge, I am less productive and everything feels harder.
But, I also found that I carried a constant feeling of not doing enough. I felt like I shoulda, coulda, woulda been doing more.
Even though I know better ;-).
This is unnecessary and unhelpful stress that we...
The problem with most busy leaders and high-achievers who want more balance in their life is that they are waiting for external circumstances to change instead of driving it internally. Instead of being a leader, they are being led and don’t even realize it.
This was me for many years and it impacted my ability to show up as effective, present and productive as I am today. Instead of being proactive, I used to:
- Answer emails, texts, and work well after 5PM most evenings (and weekends!)
- Check my emails non-stop and let everyone else’s requests dictate my day
- Schedule meetings back-to back and not leave time to actually get my work done
- Wake up feeling anxious and overwhelmed with all that was on my plate
- Having very little energy and patience left for my family at the end of the day
I thought I was doing what was needed of me, but realized I was creating a career and rest of life that was not me actually me showing up as the leader I wanted to be.
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