Are the holidays leaving you more stressed than joyful? 

Let's talk about those things you may be doing with the intent of creating a wonderful Christmas experience . . . but it's leaving you feeling more overwhelmed and resenting it.

Take Elf on the Shelf – a popular Christmas tradition where parents place a small elf doll around the house doing mischievous things each night in December. We had young kids when this trend became big and I remember thinking, “Are you kidding me?”

Between work and home, I could barely keep up with what I needed to do each day, let alone having to be creative and setting something up every night, and running the risk that we would forget. Even today, when I live a much saner and enjoyable pace, there's no way I would take it on.

Now, if you get joy from this or whatever wonderful experience you have planned and it makes you happy, that's awesome. Keep doing it and keep enjoying it! 

I'm talking about when you're doing the things...

In last week’s blog post, I asked you a serious question: Are you missing out on your life?

You see, life is meant to be more living and less stressing so much about it all.

Maybe you are working too many hours and want to get back to a regular work week or even fewer hours so you have more time with your family.

Maybe you want to feel more on top of things at work and not so overwhelmed every day.

Or maybe you feel like you want to quit your demanding job and find something more peaceful — and less demanding. 

Before you go down the ‘quit’ path, I want you to consider something . . .

We tend to take ourselves where we go. So there’s a good chance you will bring your same tendencies and unhelpful habits somewhere else if you don’t shift how you think and operate.

Especially if you’re a driven and ambitious person.

Looking back, I am so thankful that I did NOT quit my corporate career when I first realized I wanted to stop working...

Today, I want to share a story with you.

Back in 2015, I was at my going-away party for my corporate career. Even though I worked at a great company and had a bright future in the project and portfolio management world, I had decided that it was time for a change.

We were having some appetizers and drinks in a small room at a restaurant and all my favorite people from work showed up (if you ever wonder how you’re really doing, quit your job and you’ll hear the nicest things).

One VP there, who always seemed to have a grounded perspective about work and life, asked me: “What is the real reason that you're going, Stacey?”

I told everybody I had wanted more flexibility and fulfillment, and that was true. But there was more to it.

The deeper reason that came to me and what I told him was . . .

"I don't want to be someone who has something tragic or bad happen for me to wake up and realize that I'm missing out on my life."

At the heart of what I shared was that I...

Resilience and balance are two areas I focus on a lot with clients. To me, they have EVERYTHING to do with each other.

I see resilience as your flexible ability to deal with the negative experiences you face. Both the big, tough setbacks that happen in your life AND the small daily stressors. 
 
It is WAY harder to navigate the setbacks and daily stressors when your tank is empty or you feel like you're sacrificing what really matters to you.

And when you are balanced, your tank is definitely NOT empty and you DO have time and presence for what does matter.

To be more resilient, you must take care of yourself and what matters to you. To be more balanced, you’ll need to get way better at navigating the ups and downs.

Especially those small, everyday stressors!

What does this look like?

Waking up in the morning and being able to let go of anxious thoughts about your day and to-do list.

Getting your kids out the door in the morning and yourself to work on...

This time of year, life can feel overstuffed!

You might be stressing about what gifts to buy your nieces and nephews, big projects at work or sending out the annual Christmas card.

When you go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning, your mind is scrolling through all you need to do and what you forgot to do. 

And you have even less 'me' time and space for what you need to recharge and feel your best.

You want to enjoy this time of year without the usual grind. To accomplish what's important at work and be present for what matters at home. 

But it all feels overwhelming. And you sometimes you might secretly want to say F-it and not do any of it.  

Maybe this isn’t what’s exactly going on for you, but you likely have your own version of overstuffed life.

As I shared last week in the blog, the key to 'having it all' is to stop trying to do it all and being clear on what you really want.

While we often think of having it...

Are you “in between” right now?

Maybe it’s a change in your career or joining a new team. Maybe it’s letting go of a relationship that is no longer meant for you. Perhaps it’s working on being calmer and more present with your kids in the everyday moments.

Or maybe you’re like me and stepping into your next level of growth, which is exciting AND scary.

A time of transition.

You know where you’re headed (or at least have a sense), but you’re not there yet. You know what really matters to you, but you’re still letting go of what matters less.

You’re in between who you were and who you’re becoming.

Like nature — we go through seasons.

Sometimes it is unexpected, like a hurricane or an unusually hot summer. Often it is predictable, like when it changes from Fall to Winter. Like this time of year.

The water is still flowing in the lake. There is snow on the ground and an icy feel in the air. On an overcast day,...

Do you feel overwhelmed by your calendar filled with back-to-back meetings? Do you wish for more uninterrupted time for deep work or to think? Or need more space to flex when something unexpected happens in your week?

Contrary to the belief that taking on more responsibility and higher levels of leadership demand a packed schedule, creating MORE space in your calendar is essential to being as effective as you can be and feeling your best.

This is also an ongoing work in progress of figuring out what you need to better manage your time and energy.

Last week, I had a "No-Meeting WEEK" for the very first time. A no-meeting day has been part of my weekly schedule for the past couple of years.

But a few years ago, when I stopped overworking and started keeping stronger boundaries, it all began with a two-hour time block during the workday.

There is no way I could do what I do without this space, which expands as I grow.

By setting aside time where you prioritize your own work and...

This past weekend, I attended the Lead Conference Canada 2023 in Saskatoon hosted by Corliss Rassyle. And it did not disappoint!

The speakers were top-notch, from Arlene Dickinson, Allan Kehler, Afua Agyeiwaa-Boateng, Jack Canfield, Kristina Kuzmic, and more. A personal development event like this is rare in Canada, let alone in a city so close by. Corliss and team did a phenomenal job and I am so thankful I attended. Some of my key takeaways that might offer you something…

1. Be in awe of your story – we are quick to look at everything we are doing wrong or want to fix. Instead, be in awe of your story and where you are – you have accomplished and overcome WAY more than you are giving yourself credit for.

2. "Crappy people are not happy people" – this wasn't said from a place of judgment, but of acknowledgment and compassion that when someone is crappy to you, it has more to do with them and their own struggle or unhappiness.

3. Focus on what you want. And...

You know that feeling - the one where you suddenly realize that you said yes to something that you really did NOT want to do?

When you get that pit of nervousness in your stomach as you wonder how in the world you will have time for the new project you just said yes to. . . with everything else on your plate.

Or when you resent the fact that you have to miss supper with your family or work on the weekend to get done that last-minute request that came in.

You wonder WHY you keep saying yes to these things when you know it just leads to more . . .

Stress. Frustration. Resentment. And OVERWHELM.

Sound familiar? I get it.

Now there will be times we have to do things that we don’t want to do – that is a fact of life.

And there are often times we genuinely want to say yes to someone or something, even though we know we have too much already on the go.

BUT, to be strategic and protect your time and energy, you must start to get clearer on what really matters, notice the...

Do you find yourself often feeling guilty about saying no to someone or something (even though it’s what you deep down wanted to do)?

Or feeling guilty because you missed an important deadline last week or yelled at your kids last night?

Guilt comes from the feeling that you’re doing something wrong. And I believe that sometimes guilt can be helpful.

If you’re making choices that are not aligned with your values or what really matters to you or who you want to be, guilt is understandable and can benefit you.

It tells you this is something you care about and serves as a cue to pay attention.

You can look at it without being hard on yourself, and ask: What is this trying to tell me?

For example, if I yell at my kids and I feel guilty about it, that’s understandable. It’s not the parent I want to be.

The trick is to notice it and then choose to reframe it, take action to make it better, or learn from it and let it go.

To turn down the volume.

Continuing to...