Feeling insecure? Guess what . . . so are most other people.
Especially when it comes to a fear of failure.
When you have a mile-long to-do list and you’re worried you will drop a ball and not get everything done.
When you’re going into a big, important meeting and you’re so nervous it won’t go well.
When you want a new job, but you’re scared to even apply because what if you aren’t good enough to get it?
Or when you’re scared to try something new because you might fall flat on your face. Or you do fall flat on your face, and declare yourself a failure.
The fear of failure can feel like a huge weight you carry around with you. It might be something you struggle with once in a while or every single day.
I get it. I used to struggle with this all the time.
A couple of months ago, that fear came out again in full force.
This spring, I had the opportunity to do a couple of speaking events on my biggest lessons in life –...
What important is left unsaid when you’re worrying what others think?
When you don’t speak up in a meeting because someone might think it’s a stupid idea.
When you don’t say ‘no’ to something, even though you know it’s not a good use of your time.
When you don’t set boundaries with your boss and you’re responding to emails when hanging out with your family at night.
Often when I’m working with clients who want to slow down or speak up, common themes that come up are “I can’t say anything” and “everyone else is putting in long hours and I have no choice”.
I will dig deeper and ask “so what’s really keeping you from what you want?”
99% of the time it comes back to worry about what people will think . . .
They might think I am not a team player. That I can’t handle the demands. That I am not good enough. I am weak because I don’t want to put in more hours . . . ...
What if everything you have today was gone tomorrow?
Many people go about their day without truly appreciating or being grateful for what they do have right now.
And, spend a great deal of time feeling stressed and angst about small stuff that doesn’t really matter or what they don’t have.
I know I definitely used to do this. Is this you too?
When you truly feel the emotion of gratitude – not just the act of thanks, but really feeling it – your energy changes, you feel happier, and you are more resilient and respond better to stress.
Gratitude is the simplest, most powerful feeling you can cultivate – and everyone has the capacity to do so. It puts the focus on what you are receiving and good things around you.
Now, it is easier to be grateful when things are going awesome, but what about when things aren’t as good as you’d like?
When you feel disappointed you aren’t getting the promotion you...
Summer is my most favorite time of year and we spend most of our time at the lake in July and August (in fact, me and the kids move out there!)
People sometimes say to me "It must be nice to have a job where you can slow down and have so much time off".
I tell them that it’s a CHOICE.
It comes with saying no to a whole lot of things . . . even opportunities like a $40K contract because the company wanted in-person work to start during summer (and even though the money would have been great and we could pay off some debt).
It comes with being laser-focused when I do my work in the early summer mornings for two or three hours before the kids get going and we jump into beach days (I swear I get more done this way than some full work days).
It comes with letting go of what other people think when they say "If you were really dedicated to your business, you would say 'yes' to X or keep momentum and not slow down".
Late May, I spoke at a Young Leaders retreat at Elkridge resort in Northern Saskatchewan. The location was quiet, peaceful and beautiful nestled in the forest.
The event was SO awesome! Because it put the entire focus on leaders taking care of themselves so that they can better the organization.
I had the privilege of speaking on my biggest life lessons going from close-to-burning-out to thriving (in my corporate career and business).
What would I go back and tell my old self and other young leaders . . . and let’s face it, leaders at any stage in life who are struggling too?
I didn’t hit rock bottom or have something really bad happen for me to wake up, and I know I could have just as easily continued down the path I was on.
But I have figured out a few things that make a huge difference in how I show up as a leader, as a parent, and as a person.
As a result, I am accomplishing far more and enjoying life, with way less stress. It’s now what I am trained in and...
I used to be a control freak. Everything had to be to my high standards and my way of doing things – because it was the “right way” of course <wink>.
I quickly learned that approach doesn’t get you very far when leading others, whether at work or as a parent.
When you let go of control and empower others to think for themselves, you open up a whole new level in yourself and them.
PLUS, it is WAY easier when you don’t always have to be the one with all the answers or doing all the work!
A recent trip to the grocery store is a great example of this . . .
We are always on the lookout for opportunities to teach our kids (Carter – 10 and Emmett – 8) about independence and responsibility, so I threw out an idea . . .
“Why don’t they handle the grocery shopping this weekend! A FIRST!”
The boys responded immediately: “YES!” (To my surprise).
And then it hit me: “Oh s#%*, now...
Every coaching session or workshop or even a speaking event, I’ll ask the people in the room: “What’s a win?” No matter how big or how small.
And, I’ll ask myself this question every single day, ESPECIALLY on the days when things seem hard . . .
When I’m feeling the pressure of everything to do. When I’m feeling frustrated because someone is not doing what I expected them to do. Or when I am doubting myself in a moment.
“What’s a win?” is a simple and powerful question that changes the lens through which you see things, the more you reflect on that question daily.
I have had a number of clients in the past week who, when asked about their “win”, provided responses like:
As the year comes to an end, you might find yourself busier than ever, scrambling to get done project tasks at work, attending all the Christmas parties, and getting everything ready for the holidays at home.
It can either be a very stressful time . . . or a time for reflection and new beginning, depending where you’re at in your life and your perspective.
Either way, it is important to take time over the holidays to really enjoy it instead of the usual hustle and grind – it’s a chance for you to recharge from your busy life and be present with those you love most (even if you have the urge to work).
Life can often feel overstuffed and you don’t want your family to feel like this is just one more thing on the to-do list.
Study after study shows that, when people late in life look back at their lives, they regret not making more time for their family and important relationships (not more time at the office).
So give yourself and others your presence and...
What do you do when you are so far in and feel like the crushing workload is impossible to get out of because of everything you already committed to do?
How can you get back on track while keeping your reputation solid, sanity in check and still deliver results?
Now, I’m usually pretty good at saying ‘no’ and keeping boundaries, and have learned over the years how to stay out of the trap of over-committing . . .
But, I completely, 100%, went down the rabbit hole this past month and bit off a lot more than I could chew, especially given everything going on in our personal life, such as a serious health scare with our son.
I made too many commitments, loosened my boundaries, allowed people to book in my ‘focus’ time and found myself slipping into that overwhelmed feeling and ‘how in the world am I going to deliver?’. The old bad habits started to surface again . . .
In the end, everything worked out – it always does – but it takes...
I saw the movie “A Star Is Born” this weekend. I was captivated during the first half of the movie . . . it was incredible.
And then the movie started going in a direction I did not expect . . . and I was distracted in my thoughts of how it should have or should have not gone, wanting it to speed up to see what would happen and then left disappointed because it didn’t meet my expectations.
When I got home, I reflected on how I was so mesmerized by the first half but had such a different experience in the last half.
I realized that I became distracted and critical and missed enjoying what was happening in the moment, because it didn’t meet my expectations (and who says my expectations are right, anyways?)
I rarely ever do this, but I went back a couple of days later to watch it again – and absolutely loved it in its entirety.
I realized all the little details I missed the first time when I was distracted, and even though it didn’t go in the...
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