Have you had that moment when you're determined to finally put a boundary in place with your time?
You decide you are going to end work by 5 pm. Or put some buffer time in between meetings. Or add a time block to focus on getting your own work done during the work day.
And THEN the worries creep in!
What will people think? Am I letting my team down by not being there for them when they need me? What if people think I’m being selfish?
We let our fear about what others think become a reason to not follow through, but the truth is that people will judge you no matter what you do.
They might think you’re being selfish or not a team player. They might get upset by you protecting your time. They might also judge you for not speaking up about what you need.
What other people think and do is outside of your control.
What is within your control is your ability to communicate your needs in a way that keeps the relationship strong or at least delivered in a way you can feel good...
Do you dream about . . .
· breathing space in your calendar and not being in back-to-back meetings?
· time to focus on your own work during the day?
· feeling on top of things at work and at home (and not feeling guilty about saying no)?
I get it! These are the very things I used to dream about (and still come up at times) -- to simply feel in control of my day.
It's challenging to figure out where to focus your time and attention when you have so many competing demands coming at you.
But when everything feels urgent and important, everything seems equal.
The thing is, everything is NOT equal!
You are active and busy, but this alone doesn’t move you any closer to your goals or who you want to be as a leader. And it's stressful!
So, while it’s tempting to *try* to do everything, it’s a way more effective and sane approach to focus your time and attention.
Get to the heart of things that matter. Be clear on your real priorities at work and at home....
Too many leaders let their inner critic lead the way.
The voice in their head that points out everything that’s wrong with them, focuses on every mistake and confirms that they’re not good enough.
The one who constantly worries about what people think of them.
The one who says what they want is not available to them.
As a result, people are constantly overthinking and doubting themselves. Or when the worry gets to be too much, they end up not taking action on what really matters.
Why pay attention?
Anytime you are doing something new and out of your comfort zone, you will likely second guess yourself, and the imposter syndrome will seep in.
All the fears, worries and doubts can stop you cold in your tracks.
But -- when you can turn down the volume on your inner critic and what everyone else expects of you, and make your choices in deeper alignment with your values, priorities and intuition within you -- those fears and worries won’t matter.
So the real...
As I support many of my clients in creating stronger boundaries to protect their time and energy, I am reminded of just how far I've come myself in this area!
A few years ago, I used to work most evenings and weekends. I rarely said no (and was scared to do it). I constantly worried about what people would think of me if I didn't "get it all done". And, when I wasn't working, I was thinking about it.
I believed that to be successful, the only feasible option was to work harder (and longer) because of the sheer amount of demands and high expectations.
Keeping up with it all left me with little energy and presence for my family or personal time at the end of the day. I told everyone I was "fine" (my old and unhelpful favorite saying!) but on the inside, I felt like I was barely keeping it together.
And, at the time, I didn’t understand the impact and I certainly didn’t realize I had a choice.
My tendency to overwork, lack of presence, and regular grumpiness at home because...
Are you at the end of yet another 10 to 12-hour work day, feeling exhausted and realizing you haven't even taken a moment for yourself?
You know this pace isn't sustainable, but you don't know what you could possibly take off your plate or how you can get out of survival mode.
People assume that you must put in the long hours to be successful or to keep up with it all, but the truth is that you simply cannot be the best leader (or parent or partner) you can be when you're feeling exhausted and overwhelmed each day.
Even if you are recognized for performing at a high level, I guarantee you are not operating at your highest potential and you will eventually hit a wall.
(We all hit a wall at some point).
Here's the thing. You have a choice. You can continue to "succeed" like everyone else who is spread thin and exhausted, or you can decide enough is enough and find a different way to be successful. One with more focus, joy and presence.
To work less and contribute in a deeper way. To...
Let’s face it, you’re spread thin.
Don’t get me wrong – you’re a powerhouse. You’re so freaking capable, you get things done and get them done really, REALLY well.
But you’re also likely feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and tired of being pulled in so many directions between work and home.
A lack of boundaries is keeping you spread thin and preventing you from being the best leader you can be.
One who has the courage to focus on what’s important – not just what’s urgent. To move your goals forward, say no more and empower your team to step up. To model how you can make well-being and personal time a priority, and still do great work.
Why is a lack of boundaries an issue?
You are likely facing overwhelming pressure every single day.
People are emailing you at all hours, stealing your time and attention. You are continually asked to do more with less. You have a hard time saying "no" because you don't want to let anyone down.
You ever have one of those weeks where so many things seem to be going wrong? You are like, WTF is happening?
You end up feeling more stressed out, more frustrated, and even further behind!
Well, for me, the past four weeks have seemed like one thing after another.
A death in the family, a project falling through, Covid, septic problems at the cabin, a serious issue with a kid at school, and more.
But what is SO different for me now versus a few years ago is that I can navigate the ups and downs with far more ease, calm, and presence . . . and even joy.
And, keeping it real, what's not going as well for me is that I'm not as productive as I would like to be, but I have learned how to handle that better too.
This change didn't happen overnight. To be able to better navigate the curveballs that life will inevitably throw . . .
It comes with learning how to live and lead with your values.
It comes with honoring your boundaries to protect your time and energy.
It comes with focusing on...
You have likely said to yourself at some point "enough is enough!"
You want to feel happier, be present and enjoy your family and personal time, and still do great work.
But that feels impossible with the sheer volume of demands, emails, and expectations coming at you every single day.
It’s. Too. Much.
How many times a day do you say or think those words? Or that you are “fine” (when you really aren’t)?
And if you’re anything like my clients, you’re probably constantly in your head about work and saying words like “I’m too busy” or “I don’t have time” all too often at home.
Especially to your kids. Feeling guilty about the message that it sends them about your priorities and lack of presence.
Listen, I get it. It IS a real challenge to juggle it all.
Especially, over the past couple of years, there’s an increase in the sheer volume of everything you have to deal with - and even in areas where you’re...
Being a balanced leader is all about focusing on what really matters and taking care of yourself IN ORDER to be the best leader you can be.
Which has nothing to do with your title or position and everything to do with being a leader in your life.
But what happens when you feel like you’re not leading effectively or you're overloaded and pulled in too many directions between work and home?
You likely feel the urge to do more and or feel guilty for taking time for yourself.
When it's EXACTLY the time to re-center, recharge, and reset!
Because when you’re well nourished, happy and relaxed it makes it so much easier to focus, lead and be there for others.
Especially this time of year, as you transition into your Fall routine and might feel a bit out of sorts.
Even though you might feel more pressure juggling work projects ramping up or as your kids head back to school.
So, as you head into the long weekend, give yourself permission to take it easy!
Do whatever your heart...
It has been quite a summer for me – one with a mix of joy, grief, lake fun, and a little of everything in between.
But before I share more on that, let’s start with an important question . . .
How are YOU really doing?
Are you feeling overwhelmed with everything to do as you ramp up work projects, back to school and trying to squeeze in a few more fun experiences in the last days of summer?
Was your summer everything you had hoped it would be and now you find yourself longing for that simple, slower pace and DREADING the hectic schedule again?
Or perhaps you did not slow down at all over the last couple of months, with work busier than ever . . .
First off, it's completely normal to feel a bit out of sorts as you step back into the real world from your summer.
The problem is that many people resist or ignore how they are REALLY doing!
Is this you?
You keep pushing through, feeling overwhelmed, say you are "fine", and take a “cross your fingers” approach that...
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