What’s Really Going On Under The Covers?

How are you adjusting to leading your team in these unusual times?

Some of the adrenaline might have worn off and now you’re figuring out how to navigate a new normal.  I hear things from leaders, coaching clients, friends like…

“The team is productive, we are hitting our numbers, yet I can tell people are tired”.

“When I check in with people they share they are struggling. I feel like I am doing all the right things but they still are having a hard time and I don't know what to do".

“We aren’t being productive, and I feel like people are in a rut. I am in a rut. The thought of this continuing on feels daunting. I fear we are all running out of steam”

Or even . . . “wow, everyone is doing great and we are more productive than ever – anytime I hear that I wonder, what’s really going on under the covers?

When you look deeper, what are people struggling with that they aren’t sharing with you?

Because they are likely struggling in some way.

This is more important than ever.

Because research shows that fewer people are thriving and there is more struggling happening  . . . at all levels. 

A lot of people are in a “suck it up, it will pass” and “just get by” mode. Even though they might be feeling exhausted, frustrated, disengaged and higher anxiety.

If it extends for a longer period of time, people can move into a helpless response, get stuck in "just get by mode" or even burnout and this hurts company performance.

Unless you are willing to go under the covers and open the door for people to share with you how they are really doing, you can’t get to the heart of what will help to move them forward.

"Feelings of struggle, anxiety, and stress are signs that something important for us is unfolding that needs our attention and action. When effectively managed, then struggle does not undermine thriving. But when struggle is ignored and avoided for too long, people start breaking. To unnecessarily avoid prolonged struggle, we must feel safer talking about the challenges we are experiencing with each other." - The Wellbeing Lab 2020 Workplace Report

When you look under the covers you might find . . .

They are losing belief in your company as you are down-sizing and skipping this year’s bonus. They are feeling disengaged, unmotivated and feel like you don’t care or value them (even though you do).

They might wonder how they will keep up this pace if their kids don’t go back to school in the fall. They desperately want their kids to go back to school, but at the same time worry about their mental well-being and health. So feel like they have to choose between work and family and it's causing more stress.

Or they have the constant feeling of not doing enough but, at the same time, feeling like they are doing too much. They want to take something off their plate, but don’t want to let you down. They are trying to perform business-as-usual in a time that is very unusual.

They are maybe longing to connect with people in person and feeling like their relationships are suffering. A backyard team barbeque never looked so good, but can’t happen right now. 

You might be feeling this all yourself as well. You want to lead and inspire your team through these hard times, but you are finding it hard to inspire yourself.

So, what CAN you do to lead more effectively especially in these times?

Many companies and leaders are rushing to get back to business as usual. You need to be thinking first and foremost: How do you care for your people?

“The leaders who get the most out of their people are the leaders who care most about their people.” - Simon Sinek

Companies and leaders that have a well-being approach versus a business results first are the ones thriving.

They are the ones that will come out on the other end of this stronger than ever. It's been well-proven you dramatically improve performance by focusing on others’ well-being (and your own).

As a leader, you are likely spread thin too, you are managing your own life, you are managing your own workload and you might feel like you don’t have the bandwidth, but even just a little bit of caring can make a big difference for people.

It’s the small things you do now with your people that can make the biggest difference. 

Wondering where to even find that energy? All that energy that goes into feeling overwhelmed or worry or frustration could be directed to caring, compassion or showing appreciation for someone.

It can take as little as 1-2 minutes at a time, costs nothing and goes a long way.

Here are some ideas for you . . .

Caring, thoughtful gestures.

Smile. Pay attention to your demeanour going into a conversation. You set a tone. People can tell the difference between frustration and a caring approach (even if the message is the same). 

Email someone each day with a specific thank you and show appreciation. Acknowledge people for what they are doing and how they matter.

Check-in with someone: how are you really doing? How can I help?

Celebrate and acknowledge the small accomplishments each day. At team meetings, do a round table about what is good before jumping into all the issues. 

Do something kind for someone else.

Don’t underestimate the power of small caring gestures, which go a long way. These not only boost others' well-being, but it also increases your well-being.

Ask how people are really doing. Listen and show compassion.

When you get a “fine” or “I am good” or even “I am ok, I know I have it better than others” . . . that is surface level. Go beneath the covers. Probe. Ask a follow-up question.

What are you struggling most right now? What's really going on for you? 

Sharing your own struggle can create a safe environment for others to do the same.

Make it safe for people to share, then ask them what will help them (not guess it). Leaders try to figure out – ask instead. And then look at how to provide it.

If people don’t feel safe sharing, you can’t help them move forward.

Give people opportunity for their preferences.

Some want to come back to office, some don’t. Some need flexible hours with kids, some don’t. Some want to work from the lake, some don’t. Some want to be in morning meetings, some want afternoon.

Let people make choices that are good for their family and life right now where possible. For example, when bringing people back to office let their preferences drive decisions who comes back and when.

You will reap benefits of more satisfaction, engagement and productivity from your team.

Set a positive and optimistic tone.

Protective factors are optimism and positivity because they are a buffer to all the stress and anxiety.

"Optimism is the engine of resilience". It creates the belief that things will get better, we will persevere and come out stronger on the other end. Even if not ideal right now. 

But leaders shy away from this because feel like it’s not acknowledging that things aren’t good.  Or they are rundown and stressed, so get pulled into negativity.

It's not ignoring that things are hard, it's saying things might suck now and how can we make the best of it to move forward?

Positive and optimistic leaders are the ones that bring people through the hard times, so pay attention to the tone you set with your team.

Humor, a smile, and a positive outlook can go a LONG way.

Connect virtually with people in a more meaningful way.

Yes, there is magic in face-to-face. And if it’s what you are used to, it will feel like something is missing. But there are big companies that have been operating remotely for years. Most of my coaching clients are virtual.

You can still genuinely connect with people remotely.

Have a weekly meeting that isn’t about business or project status . . . have the focus be about your relationships with your team and sharing with each other how you are really doing, acknowledging each other's contributions and what's working well.

Everyone can share, so it's not all on you. Remember, you set the tone and it's the small things that can make the biggest difference.

Tip: Google Simon Sinek's Team Huddle for inspiration on connecting remotely!

Walk your talk.

You want to make other people’s wellbeing a priority, start with your own. Leaders need to model the behaviors and show how they manage their own well-being, balancing their life and demands, and emotions.

You don't want your team working themselves into the ground? Don't do it yourself. You want your team to be optimistic? You be optimistic. You want your team to share how they are struggling? You share. You want your team to be patient and understanding? You give patience and understanding. It goes both ways.

Give what you want to get from people, and model the behaviors you want to see.

Trust your instincts when it comes to people-first and checking in on others.

Trust your instincts when it comes to people.  And that when you put people’s well-being first you will come out ahead.

What kind of leader do YOU want to be? What do you want people to feel when they are interacting with you? What do you need to take a stand for with your team even if other leaders or companies are “business results first”?

Now, this doesn't mean you have to make everyone happy. It's taking the time to care for people even when things are tough or you have to make hard decisions.

To do this you sometimes have to go against the grain. So be willing to trust in yourself more and what you feel is right for your team.

* * * * * *

One of the most significant findings in modern science is that it's people's happiness and well-being that fuel performance and success.

When leaders care and put people first, you will find your team is more committed, more satisfied in their roles, struggle less, and perform better.

There is no denying that people are struggling more than ever. And, this is a time where people are assessing what really matters to them.

So, give them a reason to stay with you :)

PS: What's on your mind? Share in the comments below!

Reference: The Well-Being Lab 2020 Workplace Report

What Next?

Are your boundaries blurred between work and home? And you are feeling exhausted trying to keep up with business-as-usual in a time that is highly unusual?

Are you anxious about what the future holds for yourself and your family and team, but hiding it because you feel like you are better off than other people or feel like there's nothing you can do?

Are you in a “suck it up and just get by” or “tough it out” mode . . . but wonder how much longer you can keep up the pace?

Are you struggling to remain optimistic when there is so much uncertainty?

Do you feel like you "have no time", but committed to take a step in the direction you want to go?

Then this is for YOU . . .

Discover how busy leaders are handling the daily stressors and setbacks with more ease, confidence and optimism even in uncertain times.

So you can feel less anxious, be more patient and present, and have more time and energy for what matters (even with boundaries so blurred between work and home).

Here are three ways we can go deeper together:

1. Sign up for a FREE 60-minute online presentation: Being Real & Resilient In Uncertain Times. This is typically a paid workshop for teams and companies, and I am sharing with you for FREE for a limited time. Email [email protected] and I will send you the recording!

2. Enroll in my new bite-sized program Real-Time Resilience to create more focus, energy and peace in just 15 minutes a day! Go here for all the details and to enroll.

3. Looking for a coach? Contact me and we can have a conversation to see if we are the right fit to partner together on your goals and options! 

Stacey L. Olson is a Certified Positive Psychology Coach with more than 12 years of corporate experience. She works with busy leaders, especially working parents, who want to slow down, stress less, and be more balanced so they can have more time and energy for what really matters, be more patient and present, and be the leader they aspire to be. Stacey is the founder of the 'Be At Your Best' transformational coaching program and also offers leadership/executive coaching, workshops, and speaking. She has gone through her own transformational change from 'just getting by' to thriving no matter the circumstance (most days anyways).