Hitting the Reset Button
A few years ago, I started doing something with my son Emmett when a disagreement would unintentionally snowball.
Usually, it was when we were rushing out the door in the morning to get to daycare and work on time.
I would get frustrated with him for not listening. He would get upset because I was getting mad. I would yell. He would cry. I would feel guilty . . . and so on.
Things would totally get off track and it took longer even to get out that door.
One day I made up the idea to "hit the reset button". We both agreed to press an imaginary air button and start over.
That symbolized we were letting go. Letting go of who was right and who was wrong. Letting go of hurt feelings. Letting go of anger and frustration.
It was giving us permission to start over (and for a determined five-year-old to save face).
That simple mental trick made a big difference.
It can instantly put you in a frame of mind to let go of the unnecessary drama. To let go of unproductive thinking and actions. And refocus to move forward.
I’ve started sharing this ‘mental tool’ in workshops with corporate leaders recently. And it’s really resonating.
We’ve all been there.
You know when you have gotten into a situation at work where you aren’t handling things as well as you know you could be, and the other person/people aren’t handling it as well as they could be.
Your energy and effort is going in an unproductive and negative way. You are trying to solve a problem, yet the frustration and unmet expectations are clouding everything.
You are frustrated. They are frustrated. Things snowball. You know it isn’t going well, yet how do you stop it.
Without losing face. Without giving up on your point you feel is right. Without feeling like you’re giving in.
Hitting the reset button gives you all permission to let go and move forward.
Nobody has to lose face. You don’t need to continue to justify what you did or didn’t do, or prove your point what they did or didn’t do.
Instead, you can start from a new place and put your focus and energy into moving forward in a more positive and productive way.
I was in a workshop this week with a leadership team, and it got off agenda when some deep-rooted frustrations came out . . . which were important and necessary.
Earlier, I had shared this idea of the reset button.
And when things started going sideways, one of the team members suggested hitting the reset button. So the group agreed to do this and talked about what "reset" looked like to them.
To treat each other with compassion. To be curious. To give what you want to get. To let go of hurt feelings over past decisions. To call each other out when not living these ground rules. And so on.
It allowed everyone in the room to let go of unhelpful expectations, who was right or wrong and focus on what will help them move forward.
It was simple yet powerful. And, it took their courage, commitment and willingness to go for it.
This can work in any area of your life, with your kids, family or at work – anytime frustrations and unmet expectations are snowballing and slowing you down.
This is something I still do with my kids or my husband. Or even in my business when I know I’ve gotten off track on something . . . instead of beating myself about it or worrying, I’ll "hit the reset button" and then physically make the action of doing it to let go.
Small actions can make a big difference. You can hit the reset button too. You can let go and move forward.
What is something in your life where you would benefit from hitting the reset button?
All my best,
What Next?
If you are finding it challenging especially with everything going on in the world right now to navigate daily stressors and worries of:
- continuing to perform business as usual in a time that is highly unusual
- feeling exhausted juggling work and kids at home
- finding yourself short on patience with the people around you (likely because you are exhausted or anxious)?
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Stacey L. Olson is a Certified Positive Psychology Coach with more than 12 years of corporate experience. She works with busy leaders, many working parents, who want to slow down, feel less stressed, and be more balanced so they can lead even stronger, perform even better and enjoy life fully. Stacey is the founder of the 'Be At Your Best' transformational coaching program and offers leadership / executive coaching, virtual and in-person workshops and speaking. She lives in Regina, Canada with her husband and three kids, loves spending time at the lake, and is an "unapologetic optimist".
